Sliding Doors

One of the best things about joining facebo0k has been that I have gotten in touch with a lot of my high school friends back in W011ongong. Unfortunately, I had lost touch with everyone except for 3 wonderful people and now I got a chance to see what everyone was up to. What struck me and strikes me every time I go to their homepages is the different paths we have taken since high school. Almost everyone in that group is married, settled down with at least one kid. It's amazing, girl or boy, their profile pictures is of them holding a baby, a toddler or a kid. Sometimes a big kid and I wonder how soon after graduation they had the kid.
Meanwhile, here I am still in school with an unsettled future and as time goes by, the prospect of kids becomes more and more scary. It is such a huge responsibility and they will be here forever. The good times and the bad times. You think marriage is scary but it is nothing compared to bringing someone to life and saying "here you go, goodluck and all, it's not really a fair and just world". And the funny thing is that as time goes by, for me the responsibility of a kid becomes more scary. Don't get me wrong I want a kid or two, but when you start thinking about the why and the how and the randomness of it all, it is such a heavy responsibility... almost like playing god!! Maybe the idea is not to think about it and over-analyze it -- simply go for it. Who knows.
Going back to my school mates, it is weird how our lives are so different. From my whole year which i think had about 100 kids, give and take a few, I think only 3 people did phds and haven't had the expected sequence of events after their high school. The cool kids are nearly all homebodies and the uncool kids have come into their element. They have become cool.
Seriously going thru high school is so stressful and scarring!! you have to escape it first before you can leave behind the tangles and the shadows and become your own person.